Because the Lollipop Guild is full, short stack.

These owners really need to stick to sports.

Sad story in light of plenty of pieces in recent years (here, here, and here) about the financial pitfalls athletes face.

AP needs a good financial advisor to bring discipline to his finances and whip it into shape.

I hope he beats this 

I’m just here to admit that I’m impressed you all didn’t catch that Screamapillar’s (whose name is also a Simpsons reference) literally submitted the plot to Episode 7.25.

Based on the recent murders of Embiid and Giannis, he seems to be targeting very tall black men who are incredibly skilled and athletic for their size. Might be safer for Kevin Durant to just sit this series out and start packing for NY.

You know what was awesome about Paul Pierce? Kevin Garnett.

If he’s such a great prognosticator, then why didn’t he open the broadcast with, “Everybody should just go to bed right now, because in a few hours you will all want to kill yourselves.”

I think it was that throw to Gronk down the sideline where he noted, “If the safety steps up, he’s going to Gronk one-on-one.” I immediately was staring at that safety, saw him step up, and I was like, “Here it comes.”

• FELL OFF TOILET, FELL ONTO A MOUSE TRAP, TRAP CLOSED ON PENIS

Holy shit, if you can’t trust football coaches & Catholic priests these days who can you trust?

Instead of Total Health Care, why don’t we call it Old Broken Athlete Medical Assistance Care.

Lauren,

Putting clothespins on power cords to save money by keeping electricity from escaping as waste is one of the stupidest fucking things I’ve ever heard. If people who believe this have kids that go to your kid’s school, you need to find your kid a new school.

I thought I’d add a new take on a fan favorite.

Adding "your mom" to those is funny.

Can I just point out that the Warriors are 3-1 in the last four trips to the Finals? I think LeBron needs to stay in Cleveland because it seems like history shows that the Cavs are about to win three in a row now.

One of the things that makes LeBron James awesome is that, when he makes a basket, his baskets are worth two - and sometimes even three! - points. Your analysis fails to take this unique feature of James’ game into account.

1. No more Jordan Clarkson.