What a coincidence. I don’t want to see a video of Robert Kraft getting a hand job. I happen to like having eyeballs.

That’s why I reference my ZIP +4. Wayyy more exclusive. Makes for awesome hand signals. 

Frozen Envelope Part II: the Lakers will win the draft lottery!

Big Ben is such a piece of shit.  This guy is a two time rapist, keeps getting a pass because he’s white and the shit Steelers ownership keeps sucking up to this guy bc he’s a slightly above average QB year in year out and has 2 rings.  Bell did the right thing telling the organization to fuck off, and so did AB. …

Nothing says “I care more about money than I do about being good” than signing with the Jets.

“Stop saying jets are a disaster!”

To be fair, even one-foot-in-the-grave Lebron is better than any player the Knicks have added to their roster since the 80s.

Question: Who plays more minutes the rest of the season, LeBron or AD?

win a sprint. we are winners in this house. there is no such thing as “second”

Makes sense, since his roster-building sensibilities is like someone who plays MyLeague with budgets off.

Counterpoint, Mr. Smith, the combine attendees should be forced to catch balls thrown by the actual quarterbacks they will likely have the great good fortune to play with. Let’s see them try and catch passes thrown by Jackson, Case Keenum, all of the McCowns, Deshone Kizer, Nathan Peterman... That will show who’s…

Warning: It was extremely gross and alarmingly red.

I always had a theory that competitive running in footwear leaves your feet weak. There are people in Africa right now running in their bare feet for miles at a stretch with little to no ill effect. They should treat sneakers like performance enhancing drugs and ban them all together.

No, that's a Stanford grad. A Harvard man hires someone to walk all over you.

This will help build the calluses he needs as a future Harvard grad for walking all over you.

I’m not sure I’ve ever played cards sober.

Now I really really want to see a completely jacked, roided out chess player with Mark McGwire arms going crazy and flipping the board when the first pawn is lost.

Who willingly signs up for 13 years in Philly? I’m sure the fans will be EXTREMELY supportive of him the first time he goes 0 for 4.

You’re going to hell. Save me a seat on the bus. +1.

To really put the duration of this contract into perspective, when it expires, R. Kelly will try to have sex with it.