No on knows! He is also a really wierd dude and might have a personality disorder. 

See: All of them. 

I was trying to figure out if there was some slow developing joke in there about writing about a really dumb movie in an purposefully overblown style.

How did they not recognize Kendrick Perkins tho

its not a crime. Pls find me the criminal statue you are referring to. 

he doesn’t owe you shit

He has a very weird skillset. Also, his face is weird.

ouch

“the Nationals are the team to beat in the NL” I mean, they do always get beaten by other teams in October so I suppose this is technically correct. 

Except for like, all the success...

It has been described as one of the worst possible injuries. 

Gulls games are awesome

Like every other black person in America...

no its really not

That’s a deep cut. 

Not to be a dick, but how did you not know what foot he used to score the goal. What were you watching, Argentinian professional football reporter?

As opposed to 90 minutes in normal games

ouch

Ah fuck these 1000 year old relationships, let’s just draw some fucking squares after 3 brandies.

everyone’s east of something