Can anyone translate this from Canadian?

You wish. Part of his deal with the devil was an extra 20 years of life. It’s one of the standard “Cheney”-level executive packages.

Lol, “Re” adopting? Man, that shit never left.

DC being second in spending is a travesty.

Lol. DC schools are a joke.

Then go the fuck home, putz. Last thing we need is one more douche telling us how much of a real man he is because of where his mom happened to live when he fell out of her.

[whose best sport is hockey]

Man, the turnover time is fast in Basketball. This is happening to me and I am years from 40...

I assume he has eaten at White Castle over 1000 times and is therefor biologically 54.

Man, the Dodgers moved to LA in the 60s!

same

I think that the issue is that she is crazy enough to pretend that cowbells ring at 100 decibels and weigh 13 pounds, both of which are instantly verifiable as untrue the first time you see  one.

Man, that is literally the first play of the game.

Dude, why even bother? You really think that one last article is going to convince the guy who is still arguing against Clinton?

Well there’s the problem. He hasn’t been actually coached since he arrived in NY.

I mean, let’s not be hasty here.

Amazon! Any fiction book ever, for $.01 + $3.99 in shipping.

I wasn’t trying to be pedantic or anything, but there is lots of so-called SF that is really speculative fiction that your SO might enjoy more. Octavia Butler, anything by Ursala LeGuin, etc...

ouch

Manute Bol’s shorts in that picture are actually a pair of men’s trousers.