Yes, they are the problem along with everyone who inhibits their ability to react with drugs or distractions. I love alcohol. Love it. A dry gin in particular suits my grandmotherly tastes. And I love cars. Love them. That’s why I have a manual transmissioned, turbocharged Italian whip. But these two things, in any…

My 500 Turbo (a fellow MOPAR, sort of) has a similar setup, though the entire thing is digital sans analogue gauges of any sort. Does yours get the g-meter and “boost gauge” functionality? Both are kind of pointless, but they’re fun. I like the fact that all of the different selections are on separate screens, easily…

Maybe, but you’re the one who replied to the obvious trolling of an obvious troll, obviously. One might even say that you shifted into maximum overderp.

They’re not deathtraps. The driver of the small modern euro hatch walks away from the collision with an old boat, where the steering column is javelin’d through the driver’s chest.

Excuse me, but no. Small cars are awesome. Small hot hatches are more awesome. If you don’t understand why a road-legal go-kart with a license plate is awesome, go test drive an Abarth. They’re not the fastest things ever, but they are fun.

What is the likelihood that a car sufficiently narrow enough (and this one looked to be only just) would hop a curb and go straight down the stairwell? It doesn’t really seem like something that would happen when the ball joints explode after hitting said curbs.

Well... it’s pretty hard to throw a Suburban down into an NYC Subway stairwell when the police will shoot you for breathing.

Or take a bike lock and lock one of the wheels to something. Like part of the suspension.

“I had dibs,” written with the finest key-calligraphy.

Some cyclists hate cars, and many motorists HATE cyclists/bicycles. A true Jalop would probably like all things that go.

While the sticker for the Fiata may well be $30-something-k, Fiat owners will tell you you’re not going to actually pay anywhere near sticker for these things unless you’re bad at buying cars. As for the “15 years to afford it” type of deal, the Fiata will be available as a used purchase with a 30% discount within two…

Stick is like the best possible theft deterrent. Even for the thieves who know how to drive one, who would actually want one? Probably not the chopshop.

I dunno about that particular analogy. I used to drive a healthy 30k a year just commuting in one of the most dangerous states in the country, and I never saw anything approaching the insanity you see in Russia unless there was severe weather. Russian drivers seem the be some of the only ones on earth that steer into…

Like many of my damn millennial brothers and sisters, I graduated off the cliff into a shit job market. Combined with student debt, depressed wages, housing costs that are proportionally higher now than last decade, and ever-increasing costs as we are now taxed to pay for the healthcare of the sick and old via the ACA…

They actually make a cheap version of this - it’s the “500 Turbo” or “500 Sport Turbo”. They sticker around $19,500 to start but you can have them for the high $16’s new. What you give up: about 25hp, 20lb-ft, and the super-hard suspension from the Abarth. You also don’t get the nice sound system, seats, and…

Can’t you just put the roof down and stick the big items in through there? I bet you could fit a fridge in a 500c :D

These really are pretty decent for being on such small cars. I have a hatch 500 Turbo and the total cargo area is definitely bigger than what’s in a Mini Cooper. I can actually cram my track bike in there if I remove the front wheel first. Whoop!

They do feel pain. I lost a timing tensioner, it was defective and relatively new. The metallic slamming sound of the pistons mulching valves is a sound I’ll never forget. Though the car was well-maintained inside and out (even mistaken for a new car, sometimes), a ruined engine is the kind of thing that can be the…