My husband’s stock options thank you, John Legere. Also, the fact that I no longer have to iron his work trousers because everyone at T-Mo wears jeans now. Just in general, thanks, dude.

You do good work, Pinkham. A little beej is well earned.

OMG like literally so me.

Hey wait. I called Adam over at Gizmodo a hack. That was in 2015.

My organization is willing to donate a blowjob in honor of this article. It should go permanently in the Internet Rules Compendium next to “Thou shalt no longer Rickroll, ever, even ironically.”

You misspelled “Soory.”

Don't let anyone make you feel crazy. I live in Seattle and I drink black coffee from Starbucks every single day. It's like two bucks and actually pretty legit. I haven't had a frappucino in fifteen years. If I want a milkshake I get a real motherfucking milkshake goddamnit.

Uh? can I have a Venti double diabetic coma please?

Holy shit. I would literally break up a friendship over that if someone I knew did that. That is fucking low.

Three. The magic number.

So did you just miss that this already happened once in Seattle a month or two ago because we don’t have a TV show?

No disrespect! The opposite actually.

Aaaaaaaand then static. “Approximately 18 hours of it.”

Attaboy.

Bananas. It’s a visceral, actually kind of scary reaction. Just a light whiff of the smell and I start vomiting.

pics? I’ll wait. >.<

This. My uncle has one working leg and my father has lateral facial paralysis from polio infection in childhood in the early 60s. We have pictures of my grandmother knitting between her two sons, both in iron lungs. It’s not a fucking joke, it doesn’t just happen to poor people and as a Seattleite, I take this news…

reading is hard, eh?

I found a weird off brand 32” for $75 and nabbed it but they went quick. Like I said above, it’s going in my bedroom and for $75 I don’t give a flying fuck about quality. As long as it turns on and makes enough noise to lull me to sleep, I’m good as gold. Comes Friday!

I found a weird off brand 32” for $75 and nabbed it but they went quick. Like I said above, it’s going in my bedroom…

did you actually get it? I snagged the 32” for $75 for my bedroom. At that price, I really don’t even care if it shows a picture. I spent twice as much on the bluetooth speaker in there.

did you actually get it? I snagged the 32” for $75 for my bedroom. At that price, I really don’t even care if it…