He looked at the menu for another minute and then said he'd have the chicken. I looked him in the eye and said, "It's not a wild chicken."

My guess? Because Miami.

"Shelley Winters is Monique's mother. Angela Lansbury is Monique's mother. Sean Connery is Monique's mother. No wait, Sean Connery is Monique's boyfriend. He's 300 years old, but he's still a stud!"

Yes! He's a ringer for sure. But, Jason Schwartzman has more chest hair.

Aw, I love you guys.

Well, Bill Cosby is not facing prosecution and neither is Stephen Collins. As anyone who watches SVU will tell you; the statute of limitations on Collins had expired because his victims were over 22 years old.

VERY clearly seen in the fact that the reporter who approached her with the original question, a white man, somehow thought that during a luncheon celebrating the MLK movie Selma would be an appropriate time to pose a question to her about a black male rapist that in no way departs from the same racist archetype of…

Jill Scott, too. It almost killed me.

have we figured out his name yet? I know, I am the lazy. But if it's around it should be in the comments of this article too, right? :)

I love tattoos. I especially love hot men with sleeves. But Jesus H these are bad tattoos.

Heyooooooo

I'm going to call someone that next time I'm angry.

You're completely wrong, you know that right?

I learnt to masturbate from a Paolo Coehlo book.

I am this pain in the ass executive, but luckily my phone is one place I always keep up to date. Just don't come between me and my four year old duct taped Lenovo ThinkPad.

That sounds like it would be irritating, especially if you're a girl and have bras and boobage to contend with. But yes, you are not a freak! Yay!

"I'd like one of those beautiful trucks with the long, storied history please. But, before you bring me the keys will you buy an industrial size tube of superglue and festoon the front and sides with the contents of one Claire's accessory store from the mall?"

yes! exactly that!

It's kinda gross, but the hairs are short and spiny so it's in one of those "Jesus Christ my body looks like a plant," kind of ways. Remember that photoshop of the weird seed pod on a boob a few years back that they tried to pass off as spider eggs in her areola? Like that, but less insect-y.

Right?! I mean, years. YEARS OF INFECTED GUNK IN YOUR FACE.