Also, walking is good for you. Just go to your office, put the coffee down, and walk back. If your job is so high stress that this wastes too much time, start wearing adult diapers or quit.

The worst fart is a train fart.

Clinton is crafty. Sexual assault survivors have the right to be believed. But who’s to say who’s a sexual assault survivor and who is a liar?

If she is telling the truth about still being scared of enclosed spaces and whatnot, it seems very plausible that she read into her interaction with Hillary something that did not actually exist. Her evidence that Hillary knew and was trying to intimidate her is essentially “a cold stare.” That would be terribly…

Where do bodybuilders fit into this? They aren’t really “regular gym people.” They need to be here, and somewhere in the top 5.

Oh, yeah, for sure. Can I subscribe to your newsletter?

I hate to break it to you but there will always be old white people.

If they’d have waited even longer to show the end of gymnastics, then people would complain about that (it was already 11:00 and I’m sure most normal people like me that already knew Biles won saw it as the perfect time to go to bed). There simply is no way for NBC to make the internet happy. I wish they would just…

This is the type of information you would pay for (if you were a fucking sucker).

This is basically how I act everyday at work. But then again, I’m a raging alcoholic.

“Then Leonidas won the triple at the next three Olympic Games, in 160 BCE, 156 BCE, and 152 BCE.”

Fuck Deadspin for not having a scorching hot bread take to tear apart.

Trump was just happy that you guys exposed an imaginary illegal immigrant who had clearly stolen the job of an imaginary American. It’s called Patriotism.

You mean, like when you really have to go and there is only an elementary school nearby with a bathroom?

First you have to peel off the outside “chocolate” layer, then you unroll it and eat the frosting, then you eat the remaining cake.

I used to be jealous because we had real orange juice instead of Sunny D. I think it was the advertising that got me, with the black kid reaching in the fridge for the purple soda at first. Six year old me sure likes a good racial stereotype.

They are good if you make them in the oven. Out of the microwave they are well formed pieces of vomit.

Swiss Cake Rolls or GTFO

I put hot sauce and pepper on it now, and don’t put slices of hot dogs on it like I did when I was a kid.

This is true, but what Sale doesn’t say but is true is that by far the most important thing for the business is winning. Teams draw crowds and sell TV rights based on fans and fans really care about rooting for a winning team, not buying fugly jerseys.