it would absolutely whip ass if this guy was eaten alive by a bear or something

What In The Hell Is Happening In The NL?

Lay off the Provel, man.

spokesperson for an insurance company talking about how their programs are a lot like a good defensive line.

Sports should just have like a Hulu subscription tier where you just pay extra and skip the Anthem and “God Bless America.” I would pay it. 

3,854,833. Splinter in tongue from using wooden spoon to eat chocolate malt. 

Devin Hester taking it to the house on the first play of the Super Bowl was the most joy I have ever felt as a Bears fan. Shame they had to end the game right after that play and nothing else happened.

This was at a White Sox game chief.

He won’t tolerate lollygagging. Or side-burns.

Home Depot boxes? Talk about lifestyles of the rich and famous.  Steal your cardboard moving boxes from the local liquor store like the rest of us, asshole.

I coach little league baseball and softball. Currently, there is a drastic umpire shortage in our area because this type of behavior has become the norm. It’s not worth the stress and risk of possibly being attacked for $60. These idiots think that a bad call in a little league game is going to cost their kid a…

God bless Javy Baez.

Felt like as good a time as ever to promote the most uncomfortable jingle ever written

Ah yes. The Morris Buttermaker rule:

AND I’D SURELY STAND UP! NEXT TO YOU AND SAVE ON MY NEXT RENTAL.

Boston fans are engorged, pulsating pustules on the taint of the entire sports world. So you. You are what is wrong with Boston, Sully.

Why wouldn’t you want to talk about Activation. I loved their games!

That will be my official response whenever my wife complains about blowing up the bathroom.