These dudes sound like they could lead a band playing a local GMO-free coffee shop

I’m sure I will fail at many of the preconceived notions I have with how I will handle my children, but not this. I’m going to destroy their world. I’m a winner and I’m fucking their mom.

I blame the parents for letting their kids be so into video games. When I become a parent, I’m sure I’ll end up buying my kids a console, but they won’t be able to play it for more than an hour at a time and they’ll be forced to be active in all kinds of sports! And while they’re outside playing or at practice, I will…

In closing, we only have about 3 weeks left

I had no idea a grown man’s voice could sound like that.

That sucks, he was basically forced into it, against his will.

Maybe we’re reading too much into this, and the simple answer is the correct answer: the Browns don’t know what the fuck they’re doing and this is further evidence of it.

Maybe she was ugly or a minority or something else that an NFL exec wouldn’t like, like maybe she was really tall but not super skinny. GROSS!

Mark Walhberg will play the Japanese guy in the movie.

They probably liked the fact that RG3's knee isn’t even capable of bending.

It was the Os Johnny had trouble with. He had no trouble with the Xs.

I LOVE BBQ AND COUNTRY MUSIC PLEASE HIRE ME IM SO HUNGRY AND LONELY

“Maybe they really just had somebody better they couldn’t bench in front of him,” - Mike Olt

If anything, this year’s Super Bowl is evidence of how valuable having a quarterback who can catch the ball is.

I’m sorry L. Jackson, but please run this wheeeeel

Two’s company, three’s a crowd

+2 zig zags

‘zactly. Deadbeat Chads.

I blame the absence of fathers in the white community. Where is the personal responsibility???

“There ain’t no North Pole, thus there ain’t no Christmas”