Sure he did, cry and promise not to tell anyone.

Sadly, he had no idea what to do when he reached third base

That’s a pretty optimistic injury outlook, ESPN.

I don’t see how “you could do this with football” undermines my original point about watchable sports.

Counter-take: You absolutely could do this with football. Probably not basketball or hockey.

Hot take alert: it wouldn’t be possible to do this with a watchable sport

BLM: “Some police are assholes.”

I thought a Trump Supporter was the thing you wore if you had a prolapsed anus.

Peen State. Probably a typo, but a great typo.

Mad high school kids read Brooks and make tweets about how on top of fleek he has always been.

This column is directed to all of the high school football players who read my column, by which I mean equipment managers

There’s always the next game!

“had dealt with recurring blisters on his pitching hand, along with a separate groin injury”

Man, he has a been a dipshit since WAY back!

This seems ridiculous to me. The ref is pulling at his jersey and knocking him off balance. That’s a natural reaction to someone doing that to you. I get that it’s an automatic ejection for putting your hands on a ref but the ref shouldn’t be allowed to do that either.

Tony Romo was also hurt during the play.

Pencils? We talking about pencils here? PENCILS??!?

Playing college football is a privilege, not a right. If you can’t have the integrity to avoid illegally purchasing pencils for school, then you can’t be trusted to risk your long term health for the profit of your institution.

If he doesn’t want to get hit in the head, maybe he shouldn’t wear a helmet. He’s just asking for it when he’s dressed like that.

Theory aside, the resolution to the matter at hand is to call it “B-dubs,” as everyone in my area does. Definitely saves syllables.