The Cardinals are the perfect team for a person whose primary motivation is resentment. Good choice!

You’re very brave rooting for a top franchise to spite the writers on Deadspin.

I think they should make a post everytime a run is scored against the Cardinals.

“I haven’t slept for ten days. Because that would be too long.” - Mitch Hedberg

What a boob.

If God Loves Me, Why Can't I Get My Locker Open?

“Was Odor’s punch a sucker punch!?!?

Brian Snitker, who managed the Triple-A Gwinnett Braves, will be the interim manager.

Could be worse. I mean, blood clots aren't as devastating as the comet that wiped out the rest of his family sixty five million years ago.

I assume we’re judging all of these dishes at their tastiest, no?

Slim Goodbody is not impressed. He’s been rockin this look since the late 70's.

If you feasted on Kermit, Ed Hardy and a keg of ipecac, the result would be that ballpark.

Marchman plays the skin flute.

BUSH DID IT

Beta Dads

I think the last minute of the game should be called like every other minute of the game (to be clear, I don’t think that’s exactly “by the book”). Why should it be otherwise?

Did you hear about this via tips@deadspin.com?

He’s just showing his helmet.

Forget about funny, this joke is barely coherent.