1291. Getting run over by a reindeer

"We think it'll be OK, but it was a tightening — just a little tightness," Jones said.

Lamb poon? I knew accepting the gays would lead to bestiality!

In fairness, Jack Morris does rank 5th in career WAR...among pitchers who were on the 1992 Blue Jays.

Not only not a Hall of Famer, he's not even the most famous *ack Morris.

An all Hail Mary offense makes sense in North Dakota. Though in South Dakota, I'm assuming they...Rushmore.

That asshole stole my PowerPoint presentation!!!

If Harry did indeed use this hurtful slur, it's likely a result of his own Self hatred.

though I'm willing to listen to arguments

I know you're a huge commenter on Deadspin but that's a really shitty thing to post about someone getting murdered. Was that lame joke really THAT important that you just couldn't refrain from posting it?

Teleportation exists and we're talking about a football game?!?

I don't buy it.

I grew up watching Claymation Christmas. When I hear Lou Holtz talking, I just close my eyes and picture that blue triceratops.

Man, talk about a debt ceiling . . .

Can we all just agree that the most surprising thing about this chart is that someone with the moniker Lvl9LightSpell actually cares about sports.

So they got Dickie V lined up to do the local Duke broadcast?

YEAH SANJEETS, YEAH SANJEETS

Wow I cant believe they let those 2 muslim coaches on a SEC field

Now, this is an absurdity, and must've been even in its day. Who the hell leads the league in both interceptions and passing yards during his career?