You totally missed the opportunity to say “the mayor hit the ceiling, which is also the roof.”

Dear Deadspin,

I was just hoping for a number I could show my wife

All you goddamn city-dwelling Millenials who’ve never picked your own sun-warmed wild raspberries and enjoyed them right then and there, but rather formed your opinion of this wonderberry from the styrofoam and Saran-wrap clad units chilled into submission for weeks on end in a grocery distribution chain from hell can…

Two to three years of regular sexual contact with your wife is probably enough to close the gap with your mom.

Raspberry jam (seedless) is good as is raspberry syrup and raspberry filled jelly donuts. But raspberries on their own are pretty meh. They need other berries around them to amplify their flavor.

NOPE

One could argue that Goldschmidt was robbed of a dong too...

It will go down as a foul ball, but that was almost a sack fly.

“Live and Let Die”, the only Bond theme that rocked so hard that G’n’R covered it.

Nerves, plus a dubiously disallowed 1st period goal.

The Chinese do not regret drafting the Wu-Tang Clan

John Daly calls that a Thursday.

Your Daly reminder of just how far Tiger has fallen.

“He never liked going with the driver”

You’d think he’d know not to drive on holiday weekends by now.

‘He’s in the hole!’

Does this count as another major?