I really thought it was not possible for me to dislike this guy more. I have avoided hearing him speak. I was wrong. What a cunt.

Can we just all agree that Doc Emrick is a national fucking treasure? He just makes hockey so much better.

Welp:

Hell, otherwise known as Sheffield Avenue.

“What’s the first thing you think of when I say Chevy?”

Knowing Uber, it probably just charges you both full price.

The jokes on Votto. That Indians fan was never thin.

It was obviously Gisele. You get used to a fancy dog licking your ass clean and you’ll never stoop to double-ply Charmin again.

Mr. Cortez Kennedy will find your house...

You reap what you sew. If you’re going to try and make your cash off the suffering of others, you deserve what you get.

Also enraged was his other brother Dirrell.

So it’s all the seamen. Got it.

Guaranteed to have a better finish than the Chargers this year.

Bring your wife, we’ll fuck her!

And, as always, “Fuck you, Baltimore!”

Expert level.

HEY BUDDY DOWN IN FRONT!!!

Me too, until chubby Darryl McDaniels stood in front of it. Run, DMC, to the right about 10 feet.