I would rather be sent to the dilithium mines than have to read The Scarlett Letter ever again. (The Pearl is good, though!)

I’m just hoping for more macaroon flavor innovations

These things are Skynet

Sturdiness is a key element of the chicken, as Puckett says he’s planning to put a small bed and breakfast inside the chicken’s abdomen.

Wells mentions this offhandedly in his piece, but to me noisy restaurants are usually not a social problem, but an architecture problem: how the tables are set up, what building materials are used, etc. etc. There’s a high-end restaurant in north Brooklyn whose food I love but is usually pretty loud, and I highly…

Je telephone a la police

FALSE FLAG

Look friends, if it’s not holodetz, it’s not gross enough.

Get this man some Timbits

A Cone Walks Into Abar: eggnog-flavored ice cream with raspberry swirl and crunchy cone bits

Best of luck to you going forward; great and wondrous things are ahead of you. And may your road be blessedly free of herbs all the way to the horizon.

Everything about that interview screams “we decided to give him the NYT endorsement last month, we’re just doing all this to fill pages and get people to watch our TV show.”

A very good thing to do with Mike’s is to drizzle it on leftover pizza (not just Mod but any kind) when you’re heating it back up.

A very good thing to do with Mike’s is to drizzle it on leftover pizza (not just Mod but any kind) when you’re…

There are faster and better options nearby: &pizza, We the Pizza, Sbarro.

His stumbling on stop and frisk was SO, SO BAD. 

USS Poopballs, a Suidae-class cruise ship

HMS Maidment, a - wait, where’d it go?

[long, exasperated sigh]

get his ass

get his ass

I want someone to buy this and slap some on an apple pie.