[pushes up glasses]

Papa John The Pizza Man forever

According to their website, Krystal has four locations in the Orlando area. The two chains must now do battle as the prophecy foretold.

San-J or get out

And just like bird law, it is not governed by reason.

When the revolution comes it will be the Pokemon trapping their masters in Human Balls.

Put a dog in the Tesla war rig

good stuff

If you can find poppy seed rugelach in your neighborhood, pick up one or two; they’re pretty damn good!

A pizza-grease-soaked box that should not survive one night lasting for eight would be very on-brand for the holiday.

I think Hawley is talented and I loved and will defend Legion to my grave against all comers .... but I am kind of surprised at my lack of excitement about this news. 

where’s my pizza box that reconfigures into a menorah, you jerks

It’s still nightmare fuel, and I’ll still probably go see this. 

Cannot wait for burgers named after the Special World stages in Super Mario World for the SNES

Disco Janet. That is all.

Shake Shack, but an actual shack

Dan used to write for the best sports blog on the internet.

Wait - the original Hamburglar or that New Coke version they had a few years ago?

Yes we are, Tom. Yes we are.

There are many things wrong with turkey