Wow, that nurse was a jerk. So glad you are fine now, and your bowels are better! Good luck and Happy Pooping! :)

That's right. C-diff is really bad! Did you know that hand sanitizer doesn't even kill c-diff! You need to thoroughly wash your hands with soap and water. It is Nasty Business, for sure. And in a nursing home setting, it's horrific. We have to do isolation because it is so contagious.

I just barfed in my granny purse a little. Poor girl!

Aww, man. Why can't I poop my pants in exotic places too?

I don't remember if I told my 'Amazing Fantastic Weird Stories of Poop'. But being a nurse has it's 'perks'??? Uh....

I love me some cute little kid! What a doll.

I lived in an apartment and planted a few tomato plants in a hide-away corner. I would water and weed. As they were turning ripe, they disappeared. Some ass-hat was helping himself. I think it was Stosh, a weed-head who drank a lot.

Let's try this one. Doctors found out the woman didn't know she was a Republican! Bwahahaha! Not sexist, playful, insulting. Perfect!

Oh, God, no. Jeebus, protect us from your followers.... Wait, what?? Exactly how many days was his football career?

I don't even need condoms, but I want this...aroma therapy maybe.

I hate football, and football hates me. So, yada, yada, yada...

A woman's face? Not such an important thing. Oh, and by the way, WHY DID SHE MARRY THAT GUY???? I guess there are $40 million reasons. Now what, girl? Leave him asap.He might be a little upset by this dreadful unemployment situation. Run, young woman, Run!!

Right on, Keith!

And a little garlic!

I get to start my War On Christmas early this year!

Never saw the movie. I read the book. I knew how it ended. I am a smug bastard, ain't I?

Lindy, darling...Don't leave me here....with these asshats! I will give you a homemade chocolate cupcake!

Have fun and be as badass as you can!

She is so lucky she didn't get sepsis!!!

Now that I am post-menopausal, I remember those sexy days fondly. But I do NOT miss using birth control...