I bet he can count much higher than that, like: “I make millions of dollars a year. How about you, genius?”

Yeah. Poor old Gronk. He wishes he were you.

Yeah. Poor old Gronk. He wishes he were you.

Sounds great. After all, who wouldn’t want to work at Deadspin? (Hint: check employee histories for this site. And ask yourself: do you want to live in the special hell called “Hamilton Nolan?”

No, sweetie. That’s just a dream you had.

This is horrible beyond explanation. The entire construct of college football as a minor league for the NFL has been questioned for some time now, with good reason, and the notion that 23-year-old men with neck tattoos are “students” is prima facie absurd (“I didn’t come here to play “school”), but we could look the…

This is horrible beyond explanation. The entire construct of college football as a minor league for the NFL has been questioned for some time now, with good reason, and the notion that 23-year-old men with neck tattoos are “students” is prima facie absurd (“I didn’t come here to play “school”), but we could look the…

This is horrible beyond explanation. The entire construct of college football as a minor league for the NFL has been questioned for some time now, with good reason, and the notion that 23-year-old men with neck tattoos are “students” is prima facie absurd (“I didn’t come here to play “school”), but we could look the…

You know, don’t you? Come on, admit it. He fucked you.

This bear will die because Donald Trump and climate change plus his white privilege and he’s obviously male (females have cubs).

I guess that settles it.

First of all, I want to point out this this is just ill-disguised racism — fingerpointing with no proof or evidence at a group of young males who are disproportionately non-white. This feeds on the cismale white-privileged stereotype of young African-Americans as out-of-control sex fiends lusting for white women, but…

No carnage in Chicago. Nope. Uh uh. Fake news.

It seems I owe you an apology. Nicely played.

Very few plants require dihydrogen monoxide to survive. Idiot.

Yeah. Why can’t we have teams that all have winning records?

Yeah. Why can’t we have teams that all have winning records?

It’s football, which is entertainment. People like to watch football. Why shouldn’t they watch on Thursday? Would the world be a better place if there were no football on Thursday? No, it would not. It would be less interesting. You don’t have to watch. And please spare me the handwringing about injuries. If…

Did you ever hear the joke about the ant that had sex with an elephant?

Did you ever hear the joke about the ant that had sex with an elephant?