We're here, we're overweight*,

Behold, the world's first lithium guzzler.

Autotune in 5... 4... 3...

If anyone considering this surgery requires volunteers for sensory testing to see if the end result feels right, I offer my assistance.

Police departments have always had high ratios of power tripping narcissistic jerkwads, but I think September 11 really pushed it over the top. The ugly self entitlement beast grew ten times that day.

Police departments have always had high ratios of power tripping narcissistic assholes, but I think September 11 really pushed it over the top. The ugly self entitlement beast grew ten times that day.

The soldiers that refuse to participate in unjust wars are the 'heroes,' not this asshole.

Gays are promiscuous. Young gay online dating site dweebs, much like their straight counterparts, are most likely not promiscuous because they can't get laid. Gay guys that are laying lots of pipe- and there are a lot of gay guys that fall into this category, aren't going on a silly dating site.

@vein11: "You need to set a Rube Goldberg machine up that destroys your harddrive when too many attempts at the password fail."

I... want to pirate rock and roll all night... and party every day.

@xaronax: Tell that to the ancient Egyptians.

@Xagest: 3 Years: We've picked a date close enough to give people hope, but far enough, that, when nothing materializes, people will by and large have forgotten about this announcement.

RC coffee table?

@aek8: Start drawing up the papers on that patent, I think you're on to something. Seriously.

I'm equal parts disturbed and impressed that Fleshlight would have the sense of humor to manufacturer something so utterly insane.

@HeartBurnKid: Agent of R.O.A.C.H.: And I own and use (almost daily) a garlic press. Fuck that pounding with the side of the knife and then mincing bullshit.

I cherish my rice cooker. It's called a sauce pan and it cost me ten bucks. Sure, it's taken me a few years to master it, and, with every new bag of rice there's a little trial and error to dial in the right amount of water (based upon the age of the rice and it's water content), but I wouldn't have it any other…

Milk chocolate lovers, regardless of how many billions there are of us, never get any respect.

@DDigital: You really don't get the whole point of filming the police. You don't need to film the friendly, helpful, law abiding officer Krupkes. It's the assholes abusing authority that need to be filmed- and those are the ones that are most likely to arrest your ass (or worse) for filming them in states like…

Tip it!