A few years ago, I was in the middle seat on a crowded flight. This massive dude ambles down the aisle and plops next to me. Bad start. The second we’re in the air, he reaches into his briefcase and brings out this incredibly worn manila folder. It has so many overlapping stains (coffee? alcohol? organic matter?) you…
GregorMendel
demivenus
Well, lets see. I flew back from Ghana seated next to one of my travel companions who GOT MALARIA while we were there because he decided he didn’t “really need” the anti malarial medication we were all given. The flight was harrowing. (If you have never been around someone with malaria, the labored breathing and…
Mine are more a combo of sights and smells:
I once was flying from DC to Vegas on a Friday, mid-morning. I sat with several strippers. Apparently it’s not uncommon for dancers to fly out to Vegas on the weekend and make a shit ton of money. Anyway, I’m terrified of flying and proceeded to order several bourbon and cokes. My hand was shaking so hard (fear, not…
Feet. It is always feet for me. I would rather see blood, guts, vomit, brain ooze falling out of someone’s ear... Feet are THE WORST. I fly economy class a lot, and it is awful for the most part (for various reasons). But I still vividly remember my first upgrade-to-first-class experience. I was so excited.…
This one is just gross. Our flight was delayed and we were already on board, so it took like an hour and a half to take off. In the meantime, a woman changed her baby’s diaper (who had gotten sick) right there on her seat, instead of using the restroom like she was told. She was like, fuckkk it, everyone get a whiff…
Vince Neil.
On a flight from Chicago to Atlanta someone watched a documentary on their laptop about a commercial flight that crashed and killed everyone on board. Sounds like a skit from a tv show, but it’s true.
It happens to me when I hear Buddy Guy play ‘Red House’ or The Staple Singers doing ‘I’ll Take You There’. Goose bumps you could scrub with.
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Although to be fair, the Daily Mail also hates people of colour, immigrants, gay people, poor people, liberals, environmentalists, Europe, sex workers, Islam, and the BBC.
It didn't really happen unless a dude gets to take credit.
“We did it! High-five, babe!”
*Lays down aces and eights, sighs*
People keep saying “neurotic” like it’s a bad thing. Refusing to sit with my back to the door at a restaurant has kept me alive for this long, thank you and shut up.
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Srsly though:
Yeah, I wonder if those former Bush administration folks are hiring other alums? That’s how it happens. Don’t have to worry about some person with a better degree taking your job if all you hire is folks from your same lackluster university...
Mine was playing “I Didn’t Know I was Pregnant” on the TV. It was...a poor choice on their part.
This is such a great way to put it. I got pregnant with a guy during a one-night stand. I was 25, barely making ends meet, and facing the prospect of raising a baby in a one-bedroom apartment that I shared with my rambunctious pitbull. Not a great environment.