There once was a wife in Nantucket

When one becomes a dildologist, does their Ph.D. stand for Phalluses and Dildos?

It's too good that this story begins: "I went on a trip to Nantucket". Need to work on making the rest rhyme, though.

My girlfriend and I saw a Beachboys concert when we were sixteen. Yes, dinosaurs still roamed the earth. Anyways, after the concert, she found out what motel they were in and we drove there. Other girls were already rushing the stairs when we pulled up. We started running up the stairs and I peed my pants. I mean I…

What?!

From a 2007 Ben Ratliff review of a Stooges show in the New York Times, one of my favorite quotes ever:

I’mma guess:

Thank you for sharing how you’re too good for casual sex.

My wife’s friend banged George Clinton. Took a clump a hair for a souvenir.

I know! The litmus test for being interesting is how much and how graphically you talk about sex with your immediate family members. (But, for real, though, we are pretty boring and uptight and white. Thanks for noticing!)

It sounds like she was more of a friend that he had feelings for than a date. Like, reading between the lines, he thought it was a date, she thought they were just going to a concert together as buddies. Poor guy...

I know a girls in Minnesota who hooked up Daryl Hall after a Hall and Oates concert and bore his spawn.

Holy fuck, no wonder she’s warped! Note: I’m not making any excuses, but with father like that, she sure had the odds against her at ever becoming normal and well-adjusted. Christ, what an asshole

Wow. Her old man really was a sick son of a bitch too. Refused custody of his own blood children when their mother died so that they went to an orphanage! HOLY SHIT.

Fantastic slideshow. Thanks for posting.

its not a church, its a cult.

An almost identical situation happened at my high school. He left his second wife (who he met when he was HER teacher) for a student he had clearly been, at the very least, grooming throughout high school when she turned 18. Not only is he back teaching at the same high school, he received an award from the mayor for…

We live in the area. We’ve had enough of Mary Kay LeTourneau to last a lifetime already.

Nobody in their right mind would let this woman teach students under 18. She needs to give up that dream like yesterday

My HS boyfriend’s Senior Prom, I was a junior. I wore a Jessica McClintock dress, very fashionable at the time. It was strapless black satin with a lined bodice, a semi-full skirt, and a bustle in the back. It was my first prom and we were madly in love, so I was really enjoying myself that night. Stretch limo, dinner…