I read the first paragraph and was all, "Whu-ahhhhht?" This doesn't sound like SM.

You had me worried there for a minute, kitkat.

I'm from Alberta and I'm mad and disappointed with Canada. The Hell?

Happens to the best of us, kitten.

I thought it was pretty clear you were being sarcastic. I have the sneaking suspicion that anyone who thought you were serious didn't read beyond the first few sentences.

You're my new favourite person.

In my house we say, "Everything's ok now..." And then we get on with the business of delivering whatever unpleasant news we have to deliver.

You're my new favourite person.

Ugh. Like we (Cambodia) don't have enough problems as it is.

Sweet Jesus.

Awww, she looks like a happy little biscuit.

Awe, she looks like a happy little biscuit.

That's awesome :)

The worst day of my life was when a friend told me there was Trixie Belden fanfic on the web.

If anyone wants to brag about how 'well-read' they are, it sure won't be with Harold Robbins.

There is not enough Russian Market valium in the world to deal with that shit.

Congratulations!

She exhibits substantially more talent in her chosen field than fellow Gossip Girl graduate Blake Lively, that's for sure. Stay sad, little panda. It's working for you.

So he's this guy

You'll do what's right for you when it's time. I'm glad you're home safe.