If one of the kids Parkhurst saved grows up to work in a car factory, then the story will have come full circle.

Internet Person Jabs At Other Internet Person, Surprised When Target Becomes Angry, Whines “It’s Not My Fault.”

Well, you were trying to make that person angry.

Sixers need to maximize the value of Embiid and Simmons for when they trade them for future assets.

That’s so relatable. Along similar lines, I couldn’t tell you how many Oreos I had with my lunch today.

That’s a pretty good counter argument.

Do the players collectively have enough money to start up a Players League? I know the baseball version in the 1800s failed spectacularly, but that was a very different time.

Every five years, give Danny Boy a break so we can see Chandler Jones vs. Jerry Jones.

By far the worst made up language is whatever that is they speak in Pittsburgh.

Dude is well on his way to the dreaded triple chin.

You’d have to include Caravan of Courage and The Battle for Endor, too. Which I support. Loved those films when I was 6 years old.

“farging bastage,” actually

Your first sentence is entirely correct, but in this instance I was acutely aware that I lacked perspective that many, many other people possess. I generally refrain from commenting when I don’t know all the angles one might consider - I don’t know that I’ve ever commented on an article about Drake before - but the…

But what if you could even? What if you could?

I still need someone to resolve which of the Johns in TMBG is the best John. This controversy is tearing apart the fandom of slightly twee and clever ‘80s bands who also make children’s music.

Man, I was just acknowledging that I don’t really know much at all about Drake and that there might be context that says you can’t interpret his statement in a vacuum. Sometimes you can take words at face value, sometimes you can’t, and I literally don’t know which is true in this instance. You’re saying that I can,…

I’m not versed in all the background and nuances here, but if we take Drake’s statement at face value, it sounds like a reasonable explanation to me. To do otherwise would be to say that Samuel L. Jackson was wrong to portray his character in Django Unchained. But if someone wants to tell me that the statement is…

It’s like the Mets took that earlier post as a challenge. “You think this is peak Mets? Hold my beer.”

Don’t worry, my fellow Mets fans, no Wilpons were harmed in this conflagration. But we should send them our thoughts and prayers regardless.

If MLB contracted the Mets, I’d be really mad about it for a couple days, and then the rest of my life would go much more smoothly.*