An AED just stops fibrillation and puts the heart back into proper rhythm, right?

Extra tall collars, extra long ties ... it just adds up.

If we had only thought to consult Jeff Goldblum about this, he would have warned us not to. Though of course we wouldn’t have listened. We never do.

@realDonaldTrump: I’m just not the NBA general manager type. Clearly. With this laundry list of character defects, all the mistakes I’ve made, largely public.

The way I recall it:

Really, we have to wonder about the fundamental logic of making a Young Han Solo movie in the first place, given that so much of the character’s popularity is tied to Harrison Ford’s performance.

Or, they forgot that he was sliced in half because they haven’t seen Phantom Menace in 20 years and thought, “oh hey, is that the double lightsaber guy?” and expected a final boss showdown between Maul and Han.

Way to run afoul of the Reptilian censors, AV Club. Now you’ll be blocked when I visit my in-laws.

Sears was already stagnating before Unsteady Eddie showed up. He just dramatically accelerated the decline.

And how did Toys ‘R Us end up in a position where they could do that? That wasn’t the beginning of the decline, it was the death blow to a patient that was already struggling.

I hope your Walgreens stock continues to perform to your expectations.

Given Steve Jobs’ reputation as impossible to work for and his less-than-stellar opinions on medicine, at least those parts of the comparison hold up.

That kind of arrogant thinking is why Toys ‘R Us is dead and Sears is circling the drain. No matter how big you are, your business can sputter or fail if you start spending money stupidly. It’s not just the loss of the $140 million, it’s the opportunity cost of smarter things they didn’t spend that $140 million on.…

You can make an argument that ‘80s hockey was a broken game, that you shouldn’t have individual players going over 200 points in a season or star goalies posting a GAA above 4.00. But there’s a middle ground between that and what we have today.

Anyone who has spent any time working for a corporation can sympathize with Kevin Hunter. Not only does being right not get you any points with your bosses, it oftentimes can hurt your career because the very sight of your face reminds them of the time that they were wrong about something, and the manbabies who run…

1980s hockey was inferior in the sense that skaters were slower, equipment was inferior, and there were no analytics on positioning or line combinations to speak of. Plus/minus and time on ice were the definitive defensive stats, which is almost like not having defensive stats.

You can’t blame Crick, it’s in his DNA.

Quick, go read some YouTube comments and you’ll be back to normal in no time.

That works too! Have Ron be totally ashamed that his team put that clown forward to devastate the Earth, and yet Leslie constantly gives him grief about it, and he has to take it until he just bursts with frustration the way Nick Offerman does so well.

He had so much first-season stink on him that I totally forgot that he was in the 2nd season.