How many more Pats touchdowns til Tebow Time again?

I can't figure out how to type a 45-minute fart noise, but let's just carry on as if I did.

;laskjg;oicxuoiupoiudms ufpoiusm!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh good fucking lord. What. The fuck. Was that.

I'm not handling this game well at all. I'm talking like the end of that Old Spice commercial.

James Harrison is today's Guest Offensive Coordinator for the 49ers.

Seriously, I'm nervous every time Brees goes deep. Again, I'm nervous when the guy who just set like 56 passing records this season throws the ball.

OK that botched Niners whatever-the-fuck trick play was somehow more embarrassing than every Saints fumble today. At this point, I'll take that.

Yeah I don't care if the 49ers just stand there for every kick return the rest of the game. Just take the touchback from here on out please.

FUCK YES COLSTON!!!! RIDICULOUS!!!

If we lose this game because of multiple concussions after all the drama surrounding illegal hits all season, Roger Goodell should be forced to watch a FOX pregame show in its entirety. Actually, that could be too harsh.

Brees is obviously just being polite out of respect to Favre's legacy. The text was actually intended for Calvin Johnson, received by Tracy Porter and then finally handed over to Brees afterward.

Tebow trigger, that's what she likes.

Daaamn, Tebow! SOMEbody's getting laid toni...oh...right...Well, great job anyway, pal!

I'm extremely disappointed that this post had absolutely nothing to do with the making of the next Mission: Impossible movie.

Ben Roethlisberger has also perfected his own bird-related celebration he calls "The Musty Cock."

Little did Matt Ryan know that the only offensive drive he'd have anything to do with today would involve a yellow cab and the New Jersey turnpike.

Well damn, that makes sense and all. I always hope it's just intentionally misleading gibberish.

"Like they are ejaculating mid-sentence? These youngsters are all so goddamn uptight nowadays."

I wish they had subtitles transcribing QBs' snap counts and play calls. I could swear Eli was just yelling "RINGO PHONE HOME!" a few plays ago.