+1

Mine would've had less white clothing, more herpes, but strangely, exactly the same amount of Popeye's Chicken & Biscuits.

He did this, as he reportedly does everything else in his life, quite humbly.

The Spartans have also threatened to boycott the remainder of their season

Well, this could've been much funnier if I'd waited a few minutes for the Sanchez post to go up. Fuck.

he has waited for hours outside eerily quiet classrooms only to realize later he was in the wrong building or had confused the days of the week.

You're chipping your zombie tooth on it like a Polish man on a vibrator.

Fortunately, there was a big, beautiful and brilliant man-horse in the mirror to kiss him and make it all better.

This is definitely the only time a famous quarterback will ever be taunted for not measuring up to Big Dick. No one else even comes to mind.

Christina Aguilera? It must have been her pasty skin and generically ethnic musk. Because I haven't seen a performance of the national anthem this sad since Bette Midler covered Radiohead or something like that. Something something something Gloria James. It's worth nothing that Brett Favre, not surprisingly,…

Down The Memory Hole

We need a good slur for autistic people

Even worse was when he signed a useless wash-up as QB, claiming he "kinda LOOKS like Donovan McNabb."

a "Space Jam Michael Jordan reach-back"

Whooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

@Gottliebs Cards: +1

Five-Star Molester

district athletic director Steve "Bubba" Williams

"Who the fuck recruited this P-Thugg guy?"

So THIS is the fucker who stole my web address.