@Step aside, Son: Seriously! I'm glad someone else noticed this. Do enough schools have fucking skybridges now that one can make casual reference to such a thing and assume we can all picture the scene no problem? I associate skybridges with Six Flags and shit. My school had sidewalks.

Well, if anyone's fit to critique a guy for doing dumb shit on his phone or computer when he's supposed to be working, it's a Deadspin commenter.

@BobbyHoying: He is the 19-year-old girl crying and puking all over the couch at parties he has never attended.

Worst Person In The World Steals Pat Burns's Wallet At His Funeral

I assumed the lone Le Coq Sportif endorser would have to be Oden, but Joakim Noah makes sense in a slightly different way.

sucking a student and an instructor through the broken glass.

I'm familiar with "relaxed fit," but I'm a little confused by the "acrylic fit" on the left.

the jam and its aftermath.

"I guess sometimes there's more 'U' than mass."

An Ass-Jiggling Gal Falling Off A Pick-up Truck

that's not counting Clippers games, which no one ever does.

a team desperately trying to peel a guy off the chapel ceiling after 15 years

@Bertucci-Boyz: Nice. All to promote the release of the Airline Food Almanac, I'm sure.

"Boom," he continued. "Boom, boom, boom."

Jesus, so we've got regular features on Deadspin now on the Miami Heat and Duke. When are Yankee Chatter and Cowboys Corner being introduced? Maybe you're right to wait until after the launch of Deadspin Boston.

Ultimately, both sides agreed to settle this squabble at a later date with a beard-eating competition. The Hurricanes' Team Moms are heavily favored.

They didn't look at my record; they just said, "Oh gosh, he's fired so we got to get somebody else."

this isn't exactly the iphone 4, but she wants it to be worth the risk.

There was an elephant getting whipped in its scars; some clowns keeping alive their fine Prussian traditions