they employed some poor group of hipster interns who had to sit there all goddamn day watching cable news, trying to sift out any common sound bites, then rewind through hours of tape to put the clip montage together.

@RMJ=H: Awesome. And I usually avoid Delonte jokes like the plague.

And yet in Phoenix, they're still plodding away trying to change the Diamondbacks to Deporting Arizona.

It got a weird bounce.

@vodkanaut: That's awesome. +1

Jeez, you mean after all that, Kobe Bryant's ridiculous fashion statements actually caught on?

a lake full of prostitutes

I mean, when's the last time you saw Maya Angelou box out?

@sweatingmullets: Congrats! Don't thank us though. You helped "zing" me threw some soul-sucking days of employment. Teamwork and shit.

Kobe, in turn, reiterated that the pearl-clutching is just, you know, his thing.

@Eddie Murray Sparkles: That's just beautiful.

To be fair, the kid was wearing a #4 jersey, so they assumed he only looked like I kid out there.

Guns N' Roses are working on a Greg Oden theme song. Axl is assuring fans it will be ready next year.

Turn, turn, turn.

Hey, you know what, Miami? It worked out for the Eagles, right?

@Canseco's Iguana: Thanks. Glad we cleared that up.