pretty much ending any drama in the NL East

Hey, on the bright side, Leake finally taught Morgan what BABIP means.

So if Fire Joe Morgan is the headliner, I guess that makes Deadspin the Jim Rose Circus...which means we should be able to find some roundabout way to get Scott Raab to swallow a sword.

@FarmRaised: +1

Guttural Scream, Belches on Cue, Crazy Donald Duck Impression, Fran Drescher Laugh

If you think the Braylon Edwards "Thumbnail View" is bad, check out the Michael Irvin "Pinkynail View."

@FavreFAIL: Good work, sir. Did he imply how he might explain that to his children?

@Eddie Murray Sparkles: +1

@HockeyMountain: Good plan. I honestly considered writing "SIBLINGS. DO NOT DISTURB." on a napkin and holding it in front of us through the timeout.

@Uh oh... Cleveland: I'm so glad someone else mentioned this. My sister and I got really sweet tickets to a Hornets game last year, and at some point it occurred to me that our proximity to the court would also increase our visibility to the cameras. We never mentioned it, but I know we were both silently terrified…

Frank Gore went on to say, "Our defense cannot be penetrated. We'll be standing tall, stopping our opponents forever, just like the Berlin Wall."

I only wish to compliment your fine use of parentheses here, David. Pretty solid career summary.

Damn, it's all over, and not a single picture of a white guy in a Paul Shirley jersey at a Wyclef concert.

His sidekick Roofies Bobcat, on the other hand, tends to outwit his opponents with quiet slyness and a sinister degree of patience.

Thanks to Manu Ginobli's fear tactics, the NBA has no more problems with dangerous bats.

In an absence of rocks, pissing off Ludo just causes other inanimate objects to fall on his enemies. In this case, the suddenly mobile Colts defense.

I assume this story was also Google translated from the original Lithuanian.

@Tulos_Mullet: Congrats! Figured that had to be happening soon.

I will be at local police office

They Smoot horses, don't they?