part-time illicit lover of Steve Phillips

Joakim Noah doesn't even change his jersey during Count Chocula Weekend.

@Donnie_Iris: +1

@Tulos_Mullet: YES. That happens to me so fucking often on this website. Fastest way for a new co-worker to ensure I will never ever do them any kind of favor.

You think the elf costume's bad, wait til you see Al Davis as Santa Claus.

@ClintonPortishead: +1 misunderstanding

@sdot: You win.

@Gottliebs Cards:

Are you going to let Boris over there push you around

He looks like he's about to try to convince me to buy the chaise lounge that matches the recliner as well, and all through the sales pitch I'm uncomfortably trying not to react to his horrid, vaguely alcohol-tinged flatulence.

Just out of idle curiosity, does anyone know how to say "insurance settlement" in Portuguese?

@Gottliebs Cards: Honestly, I don't think I could explain it. Dude was just so far out of left field when things were really snotty, it just worked. I hate to say it, because it sounds condescending, but you kinda had to be there (and I was just reading, not commenting then). Just took the wind out of everyone's sails.

@vodkanaut: No shit really?

@vodkanaut: Yaknow, I have to agree. There was something cool about you having a star but no avatar.

@Gottliebs Cards: Dude I was totally kidding. I keep looking down at my long-ass thing and cringing. I don't remember any of that shit either.

@Gottliebs Cards: I see how it is. Stroll in here after the rest of us have all made asses of ourselves and the backlash has begun, and pull the rug out from under our douchey asses. Don't think we're not onto you.

@Bellwether Johnson: Yeah, and I was just playing along to set up the money quote from a terrible 90's domestic violence awareness commercial I'm hoping at least one other person might remember.

@Bellwether Johnson: Maybe learn how to cook something edible once in a while and we won't have to treat you like this. Dinner ready is PIZZA??

@JanetRenoManchild: God I really hope some poor Hampton Inn Manager had to say that to Rodman at some point last night.

@ZuckercornEsquire: Christ, I'll bet the fucking cyclists started this. Cutting off their balls. Filing their penises. I do look forward to the robotic torso races coming in 2038 however.