In an unrelated story, this morning Wile E. Coyote walked to the edge of a cliff and stared down upon the gorgeous, seemingly endless desert expanse below. After shooting an habitual glance up to the sky for a brief moment, he sighed with contentment and comfortably, confidently lowered his gaze. He felt a new sense…

In further tribute to Rodgers, Lemberger's security personnel let all the fans through to crush him right as he was about to sign a massive, game-changing record contract.

@ClintonPortishead: Especially notable in contrast to Daulerio, considering half the Jezebel readership is late.

I've been knee-deep in vagina all day.

Spaceman went 5 and 1/3, and gave up two runs on five hits.

And Hawaii, who will put up 40 on Boise State, even while the Broncos score 60. Both of those on the Smurf Turf, by the way.

@ClintonPortishead: Wow! I wasn't commenting during the heyday of that particular war, but I remember enjoying the hell out of reading it. Well done!

@Tommy Craggs: Shiiiit, I'm on my grind, shawty.

@Phintastic: I'll do you one better and run it through my Gucci Mane filter:

@Tulos_Mullet: Promoting this in acknowledgment of the same thing. That was a really, really good article. I even "Shared" it with all my "friends" on "Facebook." That's pretty special too, because I normally only share pictures of my penis on there.

Mike: So you just stash it all up there and they let you fly?

@AzureTexan: +1

Of course his bag wouldn't fit. He had to get Thole and Ike Davis in there so he could come back with Carlos Zambrano's remains. "Our ace of the future," he'll say.

So I get bitched at for going to Atlanta and getting some pussy.

See, Aaron Brooks was just misunderstood.

@dont-forget-where-you-came-from-cheese mac: That's fantastic. +1

it's American, merit-based and unchanging

Dave Winfield always aimed more for the left wing.

@vodkanaut: I would've expected more of an unsteady downward flow for these graphs however.

Luckily, Sky Sports Germany's Jessica Kastrop was on-hand to break down the...OW! SCHEISSE!