@Lincecum In Her Pujols: And heaven forbid anyone react against dumb, outdated, unwritten rules. It's better to just suck it up and keep things stupid.

And hey, don't look at me that way, I'm not the one who did the dirty deed on the Table!

Ahhh celebrities, they're just like our annoying, mildly retarded 13-year-old cousins!

@Rynocerous: I'm with you man. Yes, he's crazy and the timing wasn't the best considering all the other stuff that's happened for Morgan in the last couple weeks.

@Gottliebs Cards: "I'll never forget when that thug Ventura went after that nasty menace Nolan Ryan. I tell you whut, we should just cut these guys loose and take each other out, and the game'll be better off for it, if y'ask me!"

@MopUpReliever: Are you trying to kill my one opportunity to make a joke about African geography?

@Tulos_Mullet: I've already gritted my teeth through one Facebook post of a white person referring to him as "this thug." It's all downhill from here.

to accuse a local TV reporter of having an affair with a married man.

Because of the sensitivity of the allegations, the San Antonio Express-News is not identifying the reporter.

@UweBollocks: I figured it would've been immediately following the Dutch soccer team's victory this year.

The Mets have started referring to these promotions as "RyanChurchHead Days."

@ClintonPortishead: So an Irishman, a Native American and a Canadian are standing in line waiting to vote...

I have feuded with Mr. Whitlock myself, and I do not have the stomach for it.

O AN HE SOXY

Pictured: Catherine The Great was the only volunteer for Greg Oden's unorthodox move at this year's Slam Dunk Competition.

an infidel boner

Still better than the HIV-Ho that caused so much trouble for Robbie Alomar.

Not the first time the colorful Noah has forced a more del negro style of character off into the wilderness.

I am amazed at how interested everybody is in what my parents will wear on game day.

@Kid Canada: who needs education when i can have a fuck lion