I was in a backup role or a platoon situation.

Germany chokes in the pennant game, can't finish off a tough race.

@StuckBetweenStations: +1

@WhatWouldTebowDo?: Could be, but it was the "Et Tu, Delonte?" that got me. Although I'm realizing it may have been from a post during the whole Gloria James rumor period, so maybe it wasn't even directed at me.

@Step aside, Son: Either I just had some serious deja vu, or I've totally made a Julius Caesar joke on Deadspin sometime in the distant past.

He wanted it because he signed his deal with the Giants on March. 17.

It's as neat as it is intimidating and shaming.

Following the debacle, Tiger Woods kindly offered to help him manage his cell phone more effectively.

This is definitely the first time anyone has had problems flying with the military, but still ended up overseeing the Texas Rangers.

landing an eight figure divorce settlement before signing off on a big People Magazine puff piece.

If his contributions to that Chicago Magazine article are any indication, it'll eventually become clear that this is all actually Sammy Sosa's fault.

Man, good thing this skirmish didn't make it out near the spectators. Like 10 people might have been mildly bruised!

So I just appreciate the Chicago fans that continue to support me through it all.

@TRV: Still one of the blackest kettles I've seen in a long time.

Whitlock will appear on Nick Wright's show on KCSP in Kansas City from 3 to 6 p.m. CST.

Man, that's crazy that they messed up his name. On a totally unrelated note, I can't wait to read the Tuesday Funbag that was just posted a few minutes ago.

Put it in night vision, and it's indistinguishable from a hostage video.

That's either a terrible fight song or a brilliant Lou Reed solo track.

Chad Ochocinco's Dick Towel

Nowhere near as brutal as the time the cock left the cockring.