I (a super-femme lady) have taught MULTIPLE men how to jumpstart a car (“Can you come jump my car?” “I don’t know how.” “Well, *I* do. Get over here.”) I learned how in driver’s ed (also my dad went over it with me when it became necessary to actually jump my car).

Do parents not teach their children life skills…

SERIOUSLY. Straight ladies: it’s illegal to marry a child. Stoppit.

Super awesome tip. But here’s a better idea—don’t let your kids throw food on the floor.

I think because a lot of people can’t clasp it behind their back because they aren’t flexible enough. I’ve seen way too many women hook it together, then pull it over their heads, which is obviously WAY too much stretching.

Go to a store that has a range of sizes (specialty bra stores or a nice department store) and get fitted. There are some places that don’t even use measuring tapes. Victoria’s Secret is full of lies—if they don’t carry your actual size, they will tell you that you are a size they carry (They told me 34 C, I’m actually…

And why do you think that is?

Seriously! I was like, “The student’s...mother?” This sounds like something an adult human should be able to handle on her own.

Am I the only person who was disappointed that these were not printed with little pictoral representations of puns? I got the whole Punjab thing, too, but I wanted them to take it further.

This would have been a great opportunity for some enterprising local kids to put on some old clothes, roll around in some dirt, and then hang around robbing the idiot tourists blind with their sad puppy-dog eyes.

I had a single mother. She just didn't see the point of tracking my every move and telling me what to do all the damn time. I think she was too tired. We didn't have endless conversations about good choices. We had a few, especially when I asked her about her own choices/what she thought about X, and I remember a key…

My mother is incapable of ordering take out while I'm in the car. For some reason she just starts laughing uncontrollably and gives herself an asthma attack. I would totally film that and put it on Youtube.

1:32. I ovulated.

Yo I have cats *and* a fish. Hell, the cats are the reason I have a fish. Put a cover on the tank, basically cat TV.

I used to deliver pizzas as a teenager (I'm a chick), and people would be SHOCKED to see a GIRL with their pizza. One time I went to a house and, while waiting for the door to open, heard a kid go "MOM, THE PIZZA GIRL'S HERE" and the mom argued with the kid for a couple of minutes about whether I was actually a girl…

Does she not know about The Google?

Unlike Catholicism, right?

Yeah I had a manager once who would bend over backwards for regulars that were semi-decent people, but if you tried to fuck with him, he would chase you out of the (small, counter service) restaurant with a baseball bat.

I used to work outdoor kids' concerts, where strollers were only allowed behind the main seating area so that they wouldn't block everyone's view. Most common response to this: "BUT I HAVE A CHIIIIIILLLLDD!!!" Yeah, I know. So does everyone else here at this CHILDRENS' CONCERT."