Well done. And now I look forward to my trip home from the office in my ‘96 Lexus LS that I happened to drive into downtown Chicago this morning because it was too cold to be crammed onto the red line for my 20 minute ride. Think I’ll appreciate old girl a little more tonight.

“Big-ass speakers” means some hilljack has hooned the f*ck out of old red here, and hitting the interior with a blacklight would revel more Monster energy and other horrible stains than I can imagine. Hell no. Though it bet it’s a lot of fun to stomp on.

I’m buying every black person I see a beer this weekend, just on general principle, because of last night.

So. Many. Clowns.

I, for one, thank you for calling this woman out via this platform. Sounds to me like maybe the kid had some of what happened to him coming to him. Let’s hope CPS pays this household a little visit to see what these white trash nationalist scum are doing behind closed doors.

Agreed - thought fortunately those exceptions are generally few and far-between.

I’d like Pantera better if Phil Anselmo wasn’t such a nazi, racist little f*ck. Should have been him who took the bullet, not Dimebag.

I’d buy this guy a beer or six and shake his hand. I forever regret not doing the same thing to the guy who stole my truck late one night - was able to get out the door and catch up to the truck which was stopped at the next light, but when I was about 10 feet from the door, the lizard part of my brain said “It’s…

Man, this was a well-written piece. Excellent perspective. And the “two bags of Cheetos” line was also pretty awesome.

“Shithole,” huh? What conservative paradise do you live in? Real Chicagoans take the train to work, and save their cars for the weekend. That is, if you work in the Loop.

Yeah. But they’re supposed to thaw the turkeys first before stuffing them into the cannon.

I was thinking that maybe it would even things up if someone was taking shots at the plane with a deer rifle from the ground. Maybe aiming at the cockpit, maybe not.

The world won’t miss yet another stupid redneck.

I want one (and have wanted one) quite badly since the first time I drove one about 8 years ago. Thanks for highlighting this awesome and underrated machine.

At least no real automobiles were injured.

Kinda hard to go shopping now that dad’s out of work, isn’t it, kid? News for you - you’re not an internet sensation, and you’re responsible for your family’s unemployment now.

Can you say “deathtrap?” If I’m going out, my $5600 is going to buy more something a lot more fun.

I’m right there with you, dude.

There’s a sucker born every minute, friend.

And will rebuild the motor on the floor, in his kitchen. ah, bachelorhood.