Cum on Eileen.

Man, Andy Samberg looks like shit.

I guess Antonio Cromartie does have a big influence in the locker room.

Remember when our biggest problem was Claude Giroux feeling up cops? Our collective innocence is gone.

This comment will be criminally overlooked. Great stuff.

I miss Darren Pang.

BUT WHAT DOES HE KNOW ABOUT THE DEFLATED FOOTBALLS?

"What an Indian giver"

Ryan Braun denies the stinger feeling like just a little pinch.

Tony Stewart would have finished the job.

Good one.

Orange they sorry for breaking the rules?

"I wouldn't let one of them see my amicus or my briefs."

It may be misguided, at the rate they're retiring numbers they might need A-Z handy.

I'd like to see his earlier videos where he gets hit in the head hard enough to think a MMA fighter powerbombing him into a hardwood floor is a good idea.

"Gordon Hayward's perfectly sculpted jawline could not be reached for comment."

Finally someone with the ball to stand up to these reporters.

The story was confused with Hillis saying he'd rather be detained by the CIA than live in Cleveland for another day.

"I mean it was tough carrying that weight and being so humiliated. I'm out to prove the doubters wrong and I'll rise again."

A savvy move.