deletethisshitasshole
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deletethisshitasshole

You can claim WoW expansions as a business expense? Are you a professional virgin?

Don’t let your roomba ever get outside, it won’t last long because nature abhors a vacuum... 

When we got a pair of Guinea pigs, we called the big one Bitey 

You’ll cream your jeans when you see

Mr. Ford! His ass is everywhere.

No, Paul Hogan was in Hud. Paul Reiser is Rocky’s brother-in-law, the guy with the robot.

No, you’re thinking of Paul Hogan. Paul Reiser directed Robocop.

“I used to be an adventurer like you. Then I quickly took an arrow in the knee.”

Here’s to hoping.

So...it’ll have enough room for Modern Warfare...and nothing else?

Tell that to Ziggy Stardust.

Not sure what they are now, but in the 90s they were those solid glass ones with 4 indentations for butts. They were nice. At least $10 at the store if I was to buy one.

I was weird in middle school. I shoplifted and vandalized shit. I did not, at any point, drive girls to the point of considering suicide, or stalk them. What were you getting up to in middle school? And, this guy wasn’t in middle school, so there’s also that.

Being “weird” in school is one thing. One instance of abuse or borderline abuse as a child is one thing, even.

I mean, blackmailing people with revenge porn isn’t exactly in the same “middle school weird stuff” category as lying about your uncle working for Nintendo, but go off.

There’s also the fact that there are practicing witches in the world who are not evil. 

That Smashing Pumpkins song is ... actually not bad?

Magic and cuts to Medicare, Medicaid and Social Security.