I also want to add that the “it’s not a big deal” is TRUE, however there is a lot of indoctrination around sex that people may live with and act upon for years without even knowing how deeply they have bought into it. For that reason, the clinical facts about herpes don’t even begin to help when the diagnosis is…

Well, this does sort of capture the shame that gets planted like a time-bomb inside any person whose sex education has involved the ugly pictures of and long lectures about sex and STIs. I didn’t realize how bad it was until I had my first outbreak when I was 46. Similar to the original post, I had evidence from a…

“So why should it apply here?”

You know all the external stuff about “healthy” diet. It’s your inner cues that need development and refining. Group therapy might help you develop awareness that you are not alone in your lack of experience making healthy (physically and emotionally!) choices about how to nourish yourself. Two simple rules someone…

Why do you want to understand his behavior in terms of what you said or did? Is that how the dynamic in your relationship worked? Did he suggest to you that he felt, thought or did things because of what you said or did? That’s really controlling. Not unrelated, choosing a partner who is “simple” versus “complicated”…

Good for you! The weight loss will come. Pay attention to all the good consequences you are already experiencing: feeling better, healthier, stronger, kinder to yourself, all of it. Take time to notice these things each day. They matter too!

Well stated. There are a lot of ways that students who are accepted into selective institutions are benefiting from “unearned” advantages. 

yes, Yes, YES! Thank you! Some context here!!! What’s with being so cool? He is an earnest, admittedly not so smart guy. He’s not a problem for finding what works for him and talking about it. Please!! Just cause we have a hammer doesn’t mean everything is a nail!!

shit. I am so sorry this has happened. I do have an awesome mom and I love her so much, not in a nothing she does is ever wrong love but in a I SEE you and I love you with ever molecule love. Bless you through your bones.

Wonderful! You are about to begin the best part of your life. It is FOR YOU learning to please yourself and disentangling your ideas about who you are and what you want from anyone else’s agenda. It might feel wrong, too difficult, selfish, etc. You can despair if  you feel you need to. Just stay true to your path.…

Thank you for taking the time to elaborate on this history.

I know of someone who was run off a trail by someone skiing way too close/fast by them. Her back was broken and she was stranded in the snow for hours until she was missed. She is paraplegic as a result of the injury. I suppose people who enjoy downhill skiing might rationalize some way that she is responsible for her…

“Somehow, I am guessing...”

I find the whole “preference” issue to be a wonderful filter. Men who indicate they are willing to exclude whole groups of women based on their heritage creep me the fuck out, even though I typically fall within their “preferred” groups. Women and men who don’t similarly see such preferences for the reveal that they…

Right. Not responsible for his preference does not equate to not responsible for the garbage that drops out of his ageist, racist, misogynistic mouth. I pray for the cocktail party where he has to listen to a young woman hold forth on the many imperfections that are the middle-aged, entitled blow-hard.

Dimitri?! Is that you, Dimitri?

It sounds like he is struggling, or anticipating he will struggle, with that time apart. So, he’s sending signals to see if you will take on some of that struggle for him. You deserve to be in a relationship with someone who owns his feelings, owns his struggles, and is all in on whatever sort of relationship you and…

“Even rape culture makes it seem as though the problem of sexual violence is about rape specifically and it’s bigger than that.” 

I am concerned about linking this defense of rape culture with conservatives. Tons of liberal men do it as well. Conservative men offer different language for defending their actions. They tend to say: “That behavior is harmless,” while the defense offered by liberals (men and women) tend to say: “If she’s that bent…

A Milky Way of stars to you!