Snacktaku needs to do a review on this!

"Excuse me, Mr. [Anonymous baseball writer], can you explain to me why you've submitted a ballot that simply has a hand drawn picture of a pig pooping on its own balls on it?"

Wow, what a douche. Why, Dana would do well to read yesterday's article on Chris Benoit. It really shows what happens when athletes get pushed too hard, even in fake sports.

My high school wasn't allowed to have any sex ed classes (Yay Bible Belt!) we were also the #1 school, in the #1 county for teen pregnancy (Yay for obvious correlation!)

Working at a medical clinic, I think I'll share an insight I learned when talking to a Cialis marketer. they pointed out the key difference between Cialis and Viagra ads in their marketing strategies. Viagra ads are always showing a man, by themselves, "getting shit done" because guys "get shit done." Cialis ads…

They are coming. Please do not feed the trolls and drag that crap up from the grey.

Why is he writing an open letter? The last time I remembered Sufjan Stevens existed was around 2006.

Someone called?

I have reservations about this.

"Brats are boring. Do hot Italian sausages with sautéed bell peppers and onions, instead."

You'll never be good enough for gin's parents.

Long Island Iced Teas are the gay friend who says they'll be your wingman for the night, then leaves you hugging a toilet while he hooks up with someone you thought you were flirting with.

"Thank you, Nebraska fans. Thank all of you." —Ohio Bobcats fans

We're talking about people who don't sweeten their tea at all. I know, it's horrifying, but they exist.

"He says he's 100 percent. But I don't trust a man—where is that extra 10 percent— if he doesn't give more than 100 percent. The extra 10 percent on top of the 100 percent is the real 100 percent, and in the National Football League, 110 percent is the bare minimum for football players, which is the actual 100 percent…

Hey, sorry man. I know I can get carried away with it from time to time. We actually keep a PG-rated version of the column over here:

Somehow the Blue Jays ended up losing this game by five runs.