"Thank you, Nebraska fans. Thank all of you." —Ohio Bobcats fans

We're talking about people who don't sweeten their tea at all. I know, it's horrifying, but they exist.

"He says he's 100 percent. But I don't trust a man—where is that extra 10 percent— if he doesn't give more than 100 percent. The extra 10 percent on top of the 100 percent is the real 100 percent, and in the National Football League, 110 percent is the bare minimum for football players, which is the actual 100 percent…

Hey, sorry man. I know I can get carried away with it from time to time. We actually keep a PG-rated version of the column over here:

Somehow the Blue Jays ended up losing this game by five runs.

Hoynes. He's not the greatest, but he's the best of this bunch.

Anna, I know you can't tell us who he is/who his dad is.

This and the Onion are the only royal baby coverage I am remotely interested in.

Metalheads. MY GOD. Metalheads are the absolute worst. Not only is literally every other kind of music terrible, but God forbid you listen to the wrong sort of metal. It's literally the only genre where not only can I not differentiate between the subgenres, but it doesn't sound like anything but noise.

Not sure if you're being sarcastic with that headline, but it was a good game for the Tribe. Salazar pitched five innings of no-hit baseball and ended with seven strikeouts, the most in an Indians debut since Luis Tiant. For the Jays though, it was brutal. In addition to this swing, Rajai air-mailed a throw to the…

If someone makes yummy noises when they eat.

Super hot, kind of stupid, but seemed to have a good heart. We'd been regularly doing it for about a month when, one morning after a night of drugs and sex having, we were watching the sun rise from his roof. "Pray with me," he said.

The diversity of colors on that chair are not acceptable for a Rocker.

Why, does flour change their anatomical relationship to the chicken?

Just imagine if you had to have your cellphone connected to a tower to use the calculator application or music player.

Honestly, I am really sick of these in-vogue articles about how vapid my generation is. Everything from articles like this to the really infuriating "how to manage millennials" which mostly talk about how we need constant praise. Speaking as an older millennial (born 1983), I gotta just remind everyone we're the first…

After a life time spent blaming their parents for everything, the boomers have turned to blaming their children.

Exactly. Cleveland loves him (at least all my Cleveland people do). I am a die-hard Indians fan, so much so that I even went to 20 games last year when they were fucking terrible. All last season the entire team looked so miserable. Every damn game.

Dear fellow commenters,