I’d like to see more study on what people are thinking of when they decide what “10" on a 1-10 scale means to them. Is it the worst pain they’ve ever felt themselves, or are they picturing some Mel Gibson-esque live intestine removal? Is their personal pain scale linear or logarithmic?

The worst thing to puke up is nothing.  As in, your stomach is empty but your body continues to evacuate.  So just straight acid coming out.  Fucking hell that shit BURNS.  

Well done. Now go through it again and find all the scrolls and keys.

Clap ain’t supposed to be smooth, everyone knows that.  Burns like hell.  

I would wish for an end to auto-playing videos.

Damn, dude married Italia Ricci?  That’s quite a catch for a guy who can’t throw.

Cameron doesn’t seem to understand how the Internet works.  Apologizing when you’re wrong?  GTFO with that nonsense.  

It seems inevitable to me that at a certain point prosthetics will match, and then surpass our biological limbs in terms of durability, sensitivity, and functionality. I’d certainly consider “upgrading” myself when we get to that point, and sooner for my right leg which is all kinds of fucked up thanks to a motorboat…

During plebe summer at the Naval Academy (1997) one of my squadmates revealed that she had never seen Top Gun. She was roundly mocked, nicknamed Goose, and since plebes aren’t allowed to watch movies or listen to music, our platoon had to re-enact as much of the movie as we could remember, including the music. The…

I’m with the last guy: fuck neck ties. If I wanted to be strangled at work I’d be wearing tight leather, there would be mood lighting, and I’d be making a lot more per hour.  

If you really want to impress the ladies, invade Area 51 wielding both guns at the same time. Might want to practice this a few times first, as it’s likely that you’ll suck at it the first time you try.

You slap wasps?  You’re a braver man than I.

You’re not supposed to drink it! It’s Game Fuel, not Gamer Fuel. You pour it into your game console. It’s amazing. First you’ll notice the boosted frame rates and then you see the negative ping times. After that the future appears before you as a shining web of possibilities and the Golden Path is open.  Walk it with…

Since the machine can’t worry about “losing” larger sums of money it has an added advantage over the humans in that it’s more willing to take risks. My guess is that they found in their testing that the program would repeatedly go all-in to push its opponents into folding potentially strong hands. Over the long term…

I would flip the question and ask instead: Which country has the least censored internet? And the answer to that is: The country that has the least access to the internet.

If your kid starts crying because it’s time to leave the park you have bigger issues that need to be addressed instead of avoided.

Pac-Man really did make me question my Shinto upbringing.  

Immigrant children do make the best slurries.  Probably because they’ve been weaned on all those exotic spices I hear tell of.  

So if they play half a game before it gets postponed due to rain, would you call that a semi-Chub?

Kentucky liking Cars 3 is a lot less troubling than Arkansas liking Cars 2. I mean...jesus. Of all the Pixar movies they pick the one that is just Larry the Cable guy playing James Bond, recycled from a rejected script for “Earl foils SPECTRE”.