For $3200 I would be expecting an entirely different kind of cornhole.  

I love some of The Boss’s stuff, but “Born To Run” is a garbage song for garbage people.  Way way overrated.

If they put a 10ft basketball hoop on the springy floor-routine floor? Absolutely. She would probably need to have someone toss her the ball mid-air though.

Please tell Mr. Wick that I am very sorry for whatever it is that I did, and could he please put down the gun?

3 months from now: 6-year old disappointed to discover that her new female toy soldiers are “just boy soldiers with boobs drawn on them. Poorly.”

Alright, so endzone isn’t such a great idea.  Put them at the 45 then.  10 yards apart, just like now.  

I say we ditch all kickoffs and move to dodgeball style rules. Both teams line up in their endzones, ball is placed at midfield and the whistle is blown.  First team to the ball gets it.  

Fleck is eventually called up to Murray’s show after his nervous laughter-riddled set goes the 1970s version of viral, which was when your uncle mailed you a VHS tape and you made copies and mailed it to your friends

Watched a youtube video recently about how the Charges once missed the playoffs while having the #1 offense and #1 defense in the league. It was incredibly depressing.

Middle-click takes care of my paste needs.  I guess if you’re one of those keyboard purists...

Every damn key you suggested I used within the last hour. Guarantee you that the code running this website has plenty of brackets ‘[’, braces ‘{’, pipes ‘|’ and tildes ‘~’.

I’d like to see more study on what people are thinking of when they decide what “10" on a 1-10 scale means to them. Is it the worst pain they’ve ever felt themselves, or are they picturing some Mel Gibson-esque live intestine removal? Is their personal pain scale linear or logarithmic?

The worst thing to puke up is nothing.  As in, your stomach is empty but your body continues to evacuate.  So just straight acid coming out.  Fucking hell that shit BURNS.  

Clap ain’t supposed to be smooth, everyone knows that.  Burns like hell.  

Damn, dude married Italia Ricci?  That’s quite a catch for a guy who can’t throw.

Cameron doesn’t seem to understand how the Internet works.  Apologizing when you’re wrong?  GTFO with that nonsense.  

During plebe summer at the Naval Academy (1997) one of my squadmates revealed that she had never seen Top Gun. She was roundly mocked, nicknamed Goose, and since plebes aren’t allowed to watch movies or listen to music, our platoon had to re-enact as much of the movie as we could remember, including the music. The…

You’re not supposed to drink it! It’s Game Fuel, not Gamer Fuel. You pour it into your game console. It’s amazing. First you’ll notice the boosted frame rates and then you see the negative ping times. After that the future appears before you as a shining web of possibilities and the Golden Path is open.  Walk it with…

If your kid starts crying because it’s time to leave the park you have bigger issues that need to be addressed instead of avoided.

Pac-Man really did make me question my Shinto upbringing.