Immigrant children do make the best slurries.  Probably because they’ve been weaned on all those exotic spices I hear tell of.  

So if they play half a game before it gets postponed due to rain, would you call that a semi-Chub?

Yeah, I live in Bloomington. It’s not a small town, but it is surrounded by them. And as a college town it’s a blue island in the sea of red that is southern Indiana.

Rule change! Only one team gets to enjoy the timeout. The other team has to do jumping jacks until the timeout ends. Real ones too. It’s a technical if someone just moves their arms up and down and doesn’t actually jump.

A horse like to run on a course, of course,
And your horse won’t die on a course, of course 
Unless your horse runs the Santa Anita course, then your horse is probably dead.

Left-handed, use my right ear for phone calls.  Just as Satan intended when he made us left-handed folks.

Reese’s rankings time!

Egg>Tree>Pumpkin>Big Cup>Standard>Mini>>>>>>Reese’s Pieces Embedded Shit

This article reminded me of my days playing Fieldball at the Naval Academy. It’s like a mix between rugby, lacrosse, and Calvinball. I’ve been hit by a car twice, and some of the hits I took in fieldball felt harder than that. Separated both shoulders, twisted an ankle bad enough to need crutches....

Werd. Why would you ever use Matlab when R is sitting *right there* for free?

Where the FUCK is Area 51 on this list?

He’s going to get to 100 wins and then retire.  After destroying Ken’s records there won’t be any challenges left, only the risk that someday someone might beat him.  I think he’d rather go out undefeated.  

Best way to eat pizza rolls is to coat them in bacon grease and bake for 8 minutes in a convection toaster oven at 375.   Sprinkle with kosher salt while still hot.  

Point of order:  Rosen is probably too young to remember 9/11 and is therefore Gen Z.  

You wish. This is going to be the 2020 version of a Rickroll.

I remember when games had a “Boss mode” which paused the game and turned the screen into a spreadsheet or text document. And there was one game I remember that had a menu item called “impress your friends” which would play the game for you and make you look awesome until you hit a certain key combo.

Japan and the United States combined lost somewhere between 35,000-60,000 planes in the Pacific theater during WW2. Even if only 10% of them were lost over water (probably WAY higher) that’s likely more than the total number of submarines that have ever been built.  

BioWare (2010) == NASA (1960's)
BioWare (2018) == NASA (1980's)

So Netflix should slow everything down and dole out shows 1 episode at a time to make your job easier?  Ok Grandpa, sure thing.  And we’ll make sure these newfangled horseless carriages never go faster than walking speed so your job shoveling horseshit is protected forever!  

It’s weird that you think those are the only options available.  

Nothing the airline does requires this information.  If security needs to know which kind of person should be groping me, they can damn well ask.