(cough) Beltré (cough)  

You kiss your sister with that mouth? Well, you are from Florida, so of course you do!

^ This guy gets ass shootin.

As a Texan, fuck you, I’ll shoot your ass.

I don’t think you can contract and then test positive for herpes all in one week.

Based on his Trump-esque capitalization choices you KNOW he has poor reading comprehension. SAD! 

God I want a World Cup for Messi. It’s the only thing his career is missing.

Maybe deep down, we should all be afraid of any Apex Predator that lived through the KT Extinction. Physically unchanged for a hundred million years because it’s the perfect killing machine: a half ton of coldblooded fury with the bite force of twenty-thousand newtons and a stomach acid so strong it can dissolve…

Idk if it has anything to do with being old. Dirk is old and he isn’t shooting 25% on open 3s.

I own a ‘17 Camaro 2SS. Great car, great looking car.

Alright, wtf is a paraplegic doing as a security guard. Seriously? I know this sounds mean, but a security guard’s WHOLE job, literally their only job, is to stop people from pushing past them.

$50k for an STI (albeit a low volume one) is CP all day.

There is a non-zero chance we will look back at this and decide it was the second coming of the butt-fumble.

I don’t think he made a “football move.” Clearly incomplete.

As a Rangers fan, I tend to have “Fuck the ‘Stros” as my default setting.

This is pretty much a summary of A&Ms bball season.

Had it for dinner last week. It was good. But, the 5 for $5 needs to come back. Sick of paying $5 for one beef and cheddar.

Do you like... fishsticks?

RIP Blakey’s bank account. Pretty sure he signed that monster extension while they were together.

“lmfao are you stupid?”