The wording on the box is perfection.

So, I hate to be that guy, but you just grabbed a pretend analogy from the career of a guy who actually has a perfectly analogous situation that actually really happened in his career.

Right on cue, it's the Richard Sherman police. Ever since some actual racists attacked the guy for his rant about Michael Crabtree last year, it has been presumptively racist for the rest of us to say anything negative about him (most especially on this website). He comes off as a loud-mouthed, attention-hungry…

This will, however, prevent him from helping Russell Wilson work on his pickoff move this offseason.

I'm afraid to purchase anything at all now that the Upton-Voted seal of approval has lost its unimpeachable integrity.

The era when Kate Upton's breasts stood for integrity and a quality product is sadly gone.

I've been saying this all day. In 20+ years of following football, I've never seen a QB face so little criticism after a bad interception. Terrible decision coupled with a poor throw. If the play isn't developing the way it's supposed to (and it wasn't), throw it to the blonde in Row 8.

his numbers in the Super Bowl were excellent (above average fro him)...but I don't think they reflected a demonstration of great quarterbacking skill.

There was no reason they couldn't have run three plays with one timeout. Remember, they allowed the play clock to drain before their last offensive play.

[crumples up draft piece on Manziel's inspiring sobriety]

If you sell a ton of Mary Kay Cabot, is the car orange or pink?

I thought he should've just taken the penalty rather than burning that first timeout. When you're at midfield and running the two-minute offense in a situation where you need a touchdown, a timeout is worth more than five yards.

Even mental midget Collingsworth was wondering why run that play.

Give Seattle credit. As the defending champion heel, they tried to get DQ'd at the end and keep the title belt. Flair would be proud.

All I'm saying is, there are better options. Obviously there are going to be good girls there. But for the most part, if you are looking for something serious, you're fishing in the wrong pond.

Deadspin commenters are the fucking worst.

Debating over which house rules to use would be enough to get people stabbed at times.

I'm continually perplexed by the Deadspin writers acting like none of this could possibly matter without ever explicitly stating why it doesn't matter. It's this idea that 'haha, look at all the dumb people who care about balls!! Haha, balls!!"

Wait, Monopoly of all games gets the people you're playing with infuriated? I'd hate to see how a typical game of Munchkin turns out, then.

I don't think people are questioning if Manziel is an alcoholic because he's 20 and likes to drink. They are saying he might be, because of when and why he drinks. I understand how some people might not see a difference but there is one.