The tone of your article is idiotic. "Let's imprison people because what's inside their heads makes me squeamish! Yay!"

Homemade "mayo"

Don't listen to idiots, which is what you just did. Don't do that.

You understand that it's just one capitalist profit-seeking enterprise going after another capitalist profit-seeking enterprise, right? I mean, you do at least get that part?

Consumer protection laws were meant to protect the people who aren't "paying attention". In any other context those laws would be hailed on here, but everyone's up in arms because a bunch of bearded hipsters can't lie on their packaging.

So they have a patent on mayonnaise now?

When I read comments like yours, or even when I read something like the phrase "I tracked down [underlying facts]", I think I feel just like those people in post-apocalyptic movies where everything is destroyed, but there, in the nothingness and waste is another being that actually thinks and reasons.

I get you don't know law. Or legal reasoning (which you label "pedantic"). I get that. But you fail even at analogies. Consumers wouldn't be able to sue "turkey bacon" for not containing pig because it's TURKEY bacon - see, right there in the name. They would be able to sue, and so would the manufacturer's…

Actually, it is. Packaging cannot be materially misleading, which I would say this most definitely is. Legally.

Like it or not, the word "mayonnaise" apparently has a legal definition. "Mayo", when applied to a food product, is a reasonable and commonly understood way to refer to mayonnaise. The Latham Act, as well as FDA regulations, have clauses which prohibit activities which are "materially misleading" (as do many other…

Clearly, she should have not gone with what she wanted to do so that you could feel better.

Since you wanna parse every single word, it was their husbands that owned the slaves.

Not to mention their propensity for plumbing, love of mushrooms and hatred of turtles.

No, it is bullshit. The Redskins use a race of people as a mascot. That's just disrespectful and demeaning. This girl is dancing - that's the "black thing" is in this video. First, I don't know how you decide that this dancing is "black." People for all time and all cultures dance. But let's even buy that nonsense - I…

Ah, so your bullshit only works one way. Got it.

So if a black girl takes ballet lessons is that cultural appropriation also? Because you know the vast majority of white girls don't come from homes that can afford ballet lessons.

2 grand? That's not a summer to brag about. Just saying.

If someone else had been as committed to swallowing as you were, all of this nonsense could have been avoided.

Oh but the culture! Museums! Something, something, chinese food at 3 am!

The difference between this and Lena Dunham's book, is that Amy's book will be hilarious on purpose.