Always. Always. Always. I cannot count the times this has been said to me by some dude who thought he was the bees-nees progressive dude for “complimenting’ me in that fashion. SMH.

“You're not that big for an American!"

I think there’s a special, shitty Venn diagram of patronizing and negging that’s just anything that starts with “Wow, you’re so [blank] for someone who [blanks].” Though the main difference is that negging specifically relates to fucking with a person’s head to the point where they think they want to sleep with you,…

(Side note, even if you weren’t conventionally attractive, he would still be a sack of utter shit for saying that.)

Yeah, I wasn’t sure it qualified. The thing that made me think maybe was it was a neg was the was essentially saying: “Wow, you’re so smart for someone working a service job.” Which just makes me angry on so many levels.

I don’t know if I was still call that negging, but it’s sure as shit patronizing.

Not 100% sure if this counts as negging, but it’s a good story so I’ll tell it anyway.

Jesus. There should be a special winners section of just racist!negging.

‘You’re lucky you got that good hair.’

In the same vein: “Wow, your pronunciation is really good!”. This was said to me by my boss after I told him my own son’s full name. He literally complimented me for correctly pronouncing the name I picked out.

I apologise for nurses everywhere. we are not all as dumb as a box of rocks

Uggghhh it's times like those you wish you could magically un-fuck someone!

I wish. I’ve had pretty great luck with men but that guy was a real piece of work. I did tell him his ostrich skin cowboy boots that he’d just paid $800 for were fake. He was Danish but super into Texas culture, so I think that hurt him more than a wangpunch.

Need a word-of-the-day calendar based on this comment section, but with the stories instead of words. They’ll be sold to men to remind them how not to be a douchebag, and why that woman on the bus rejected you.

18 year old boy says to 18 year old me, about my friend. “Vanessa is really beautiful. You’re... Some people have really great personalities.” (Side note, I am not hideous.)

“You move a lot better than most cripples I’ve seen with your condition. Good on you for toughin’ it out and not gettin’ a wheelchair. You should be proud of how strong you are.”

I think I mentioned this earlier this week, but “Too bad you’re not taller ”

“Your English is great. You almost sound totally American. It's nice to hear someone actually try.”