I would normally dismiss an all-caps thumb-thug, but let me make this clear:

THIS!!! You've given shape and substance to this miasma of grief and outrage that's whorled around in my head today.

But we’re still cool with exorcisms, right? #religiousfreedums

Why do I feel like that trailer would be better if every scene with Nick Jonas was replaced with back in the day Shia LaBeouf? I’d care more about a hapless, horny, manipulated Shia. That said: DAYUM Nick! Go ‘head with them abs.

You going to hell with gasoline drawers on!

Diplo, shaddup. Knowing damn well you just got paid for that tweet.

Can’t wait to read the new book. Love, love, LOVE Toni Morrison.

I just got up in that age range (I’m 42, my kids are 21) and I realized something as I was on vacation last week: I LIKE this shit! I really like not having to bat off 22 year old dudes or feel competitive with other women or have anyone give enough of a fuck about my koolaid for me to have to worry about the flavor.…

Folks bring it in from their home country. But, now that I think of it, there would be nothing stopping someone going to PetSmart to get a few...

We had a bunch of folks get sick over tainted guinea pig meat in my neighborhood. I say that’s a sign, “Eat more chikin and just watch the guinea pigs sashay across a man-made bridge.”

My husband contracted the flesh-eating virus at work. If it is a cut and dried work-related injury, it’s a worker’s comp claim. If Tynes can’t prove negligence (and there is no way he could with staph and strep), he’s only entitled to the state limit. My husband lost two feet and got a few years worth of pay and…

And if it is, he’s only entitled to $500,000.

At my school's library, we use old laserdiscs as signs on the stacks. Just stick felt cut-out number in the center, hang it on the bookcase and voila! a blindingly shiny marquee pointing out the location of the biography of Andrew Stonewall Jackson, no relation to Michael Jackson, kid, despite the proximity in the…

This doesn’t make sense. If they were going to be flooded with shoppers, they’d stay open. We have enough Muslim Target workers in Minneapolis to man the stores, but who the heck would be shopping on Easter? It’s the most religious of Christian holidays, bunnies be damned. Real Christians would be christianing and…

If they had gone with King-Burger, I'd be thinking of BonQuiQui the entire time...

Resurrection Sunday is the most religious of Christian holidays for those who celebrate it. Any so-called Christian should have been at church or slaving over dinner on that Sunday. That expression, “C and E Christian” is for those folks who are only observant on the two high holidays. I’m a heathen through and…

In EVERYTHING. I die!!! He so fine.

Yasss! It really is just making the choice to participate according the rules or slowly but surely change the rules of play. Viola Davis isn't supposed to be "sexy" and John Cho isn't supposed to be a leading man, hell, even Adele isn't supposed the be one of the baddest bitches in the game...until they are. Slowly,…

They didn't link to the old saw about "the lady who took a live lobster and stuck its tail in her pussy and used a lighter to make the tail move. Then, after the best orgasm of her life, she went to sleep. A few days later, she went to the bathroom and realized that she was giving birth to baby lobsters! She passed…

That dude is a saint.