Don’t eat the rich, because of the large number of toxins that accumulate the higher up you go in the food chain- I assume it would be unhealthy the same way grass-fed cows are fine to eat, but carnivorous polar bear livers are toxic. Or the higher concentration of mercury in predatory fish like sharks and swordfish.…

The grocery store by my parents (Wegmans) does this and my mom got angry the first few times they carded her after the new policy came into effect. They evidently make exceptions if you’re over 90 like my grandfather, though.

Say what you will about A&W, it seems the beef itself wasn’t the issue, it was the fact that we can’t do fractions with our fingers.

A full 20 seconds elapse from the time that Brown brings up the booing before they consider the possibility that the booing might possibly be aimed at the shitty and indifferent home team.

It’s also from May 10.

It’s an annual tradition at the Great New York State Fair, in tribute to the state’s dairy farmers. But it’s a weird choice*, because there’s not one butter sculpture you should depict in a logo, it’s a different one every year. It would be like naming your team the New York Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parades, or the…

People say Trump is the first president since McKinley to not keep a pet dog, but Graham is proving them wrong.

While I know Deadspin likes to publish these as lists, I feel like this might be better served by a matrix or grid representation, to encompass all of the possible pairings- i.e. Parent (adultery) x Therapist is clearly much worse than either  Therapist x Stranger or Parent (adultery) x Stranger.

I’m sorry, it says he has no regerts. No one does, because it’s not a word.

Shrimp and grits. (Which I think of as being more common than “fish and grits”, while also having an extra internal rhyme with “all that pimp shit”, but I guess OutKast are the professionals, so what do I know?)

It’s also important to remember that saying we can’t talk about this now implicitly favors the people in power by maintaining the status quo, the same way Mitch McConnell maintains it’s always too soon after the previous mass shooting to talk about what we might do to avert the next mass shooting.

“Who ever lived” is phrasing that throws you for a second when he’s still living, albeit no longer as a football player.

But I feel like components of familiar animals is a good way to describe an animal that is either fantastical or simply unknown. “You’ve never seen an armadillo? Well, imagine a turtle fucked a rabbit.”

“They still call it human resources? That is so disrespectful.” - Zach, the office Sasquatch

Personally, I stopped giving juice to the Raiders once I found out Al Davis never paid them (meaning Cube & the rest of NWA).

I’ finally getting around to watching The Wire (it’s really good, you guys!) and my mind was blown just last week when I finally found out where this came from

If you were a hot dog…and you were starving, would you eat yourself? I know I would!

It was probably a good decision to position Pitt and Angelina Jolie on opposite corners of the graphic, in case there were any hard feelings after the divorce.

Dear Jessica (of the no-tipping office),

I submit Cairo, GA (pronounced KAY-roh) if you need more data points.